I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Randomize
