are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
