chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
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