People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize