think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
