Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
