he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
