I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
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