He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
