I swear she didn't look like that last week.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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