VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Randomize
