you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
