Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
