do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize
