I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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