To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
