i think i have herpe
just one?
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
