he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
He better not be in your backpack
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
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