your thong is hanging out like whoa
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
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