you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I just gargled with NyQuil
Randomize
