Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
