Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
she pinky promised me she was 18
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize
