I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
