fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
