is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Soap is not a condiment
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Randomize
