It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
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