and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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