ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
this just has baby written all over it
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
