We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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