Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
