Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
