Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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