Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
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