the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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