I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
This baby is an asshole
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
