sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize