Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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