All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
And the cops told us we were all naked.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize