8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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