he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
