The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.