Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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