Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs