I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Go christen that room with your naked body.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.