you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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