your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
