Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
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