tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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