Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
She bit a glass in half.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Randomize
