Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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