This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
