you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
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And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
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i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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