went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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