i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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