Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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