Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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