is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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