Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
