I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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